For some obscure reason, which I can’t remember, I decided to begin auditions for the film before doing anything else.  I think my reasoning was, I wanted to see if I could cast most of the roles as soon as possible, then I would know how to schedule things.

 

Anyway, I listened to certain ‘knowledgeable’ people and rented an office and put in a business phone.  Throughout October and November of 1998 we auditioned over 100 people.

 

Let me put it this way:  Don’t listen to people when you make your movie.  I shouldn’t have rented an office and I shouldn’t have got a business phone.  I was trying to look like a big shot Hollywood Producer.  It was a complete waste of money and time.

 

Another bit of advice: Don't buy all those 'how to' books out there. Like, HOW TO WRITE A SCREENPLAY, etc., unless you intend to try to sell your script to Hollywood. If you are interested in doing it yourself, like we did, then stay far away from that shit. Everything I talk about now is with the intent of doing it yourself and fucking ignore the Hollywood way.

 

 

 

Talent Agents  -  The Scum of the Earth

Someone else advised me to go to all the talent agencies in Tucson with my audition flyers.  That was the single most gigantic mistake I made throughout the whole filmmaking process.

Talent Agents want money.  That is why they are in business.  When they learned that I was not willing to pay the actors, most of them advised their clients to drop out. 

But much more damaging and frustrating was the fact that these ‘talent’ agents were appalled by the content of the film.  You see, after an actor auditioned for me, I would give them a few pages of the script.  I would tell them everything I could about the film.  I told them the film was going to be extremely rough; definitely NC-17.  I would tell them to take the pages of the script home and read it and think about it.  Well, what they did, being goody good little clients, they took the script to their talent agents and asked their advice.  Naturally, after reading a few pages of the shocking script, the agent (all middle-aged females in Tucson) would drop their jaws in horror and tell their wimpy little clients that under no circumstances should they appear in such filth and garbage.  This occurred with all but one of the talent agencies in Tucson.

As a result, every actor who had originally expressed a great desire to be in the film, called me and made several lame excuses why he or she couldn’t do it.  Therefore, out of approximately 100 actors who auditioned at my wonderful office, only 8 brave souls finally took the plunge and appeared in WORMWOOD.  I still had about 80 roles to fill for the film so I hung up flyers at the local ‘art’ theater THE LOFT, and also hung up a flyer at the biggest video store in Tucson, CASA VIDEO. 

On all the new flyers I stipulated that the applicant could not be affiliated with any talent agency.

I also got rid of the office.  From that point on I would meet people at my house and give our home phone number.

 

 

 

The Screen Actors Guild  -  Another Hindrance

 

Another problem I ran into was with the good ‘ol Screen Actors Guild (SAG).  As I have said before, everyone assumes if you are making a movie, you have lots of money to throw around.  Actually, they EXPECT you to have money.  And if you don’t have money, you shouldn’t be making movies. 

When SAG was formed it was an extremely good thing.  Actors needed to be protected from all the big greedy evil studios in Hollywood.  They still need to be protected from the slimy studios.  SAG would also be there somewhat to protect actors from unscrupulous smalltime producers.

But now, with the advent of digital video and ultra ultra low budget films, SAG becomes a hindrance to the filmmaker who has absolutely no money.  Sure, they have a new agreement to supposedly help out the ultra low budget filmmaker, but they still require the filmmaker to fork out MONEY.  And I was not willing or able to fork out any money.  So, as a result, no SAG members could act in WORMWOOD. 

 

If only SAG would just bite the bullet and give wavers to ultra ultra low budget filmmakers and allow their SAG members to act.  Many excellent actors auditioned for me and would have worked in WORMWOOD, but they couldn’t unless I played SAG’s game.

 

 

Stay Away From Realtors

 

 

As I plugged away with casting I was also trying to find an empty building of some kind to shoot the film.  There are always several large empty buildings in Tucson and they stay empty for several months or years.  I called all the Realtors and made them a proposition.  Let us rent the location very cheaply and if they had the opportunity to lease the building while we were in there, we would vacate the premises within a few hours.

Well, obviously, none of the Realtors were interested.  They, like everyone else, want MONEY.  As soon as they heard we were going to make a movie, you could actually see dollar signs light up their eyes.  One realtor said he could rent us a huge building for $15,000 a month.  I almost choked and told him that $15,000 was half the budget of our film.  He couldn’t believe that.  End of story.

 

Do It ALL Yourself

 

By this time in the production, I was beginning to get mad.  All the sonsabitches out there wanted money for everything.  No one could understand that we didn’t have money.  People advised me to call a few set designers around Tucson and maybe they would work for less money.  Less money was not good enough.  They would have to work for free and I knew they wouldn’t, so then I realized I would have to build the goddammed sets myself.  Then we decided, since we were never going to find anyplace, to shoot the goddammed movie in our own house.  Everyone considers Lourdes to be a saint to allow the filming to take place in our living and dining rooms.

 

 

 

 

Two basic rules of Hollywood filmmaking:

1.  Never use your own money.

2.  Never shoot in your own house.

 

 

I began drawing the artwork that would decorate the extremely cheap sets.  I had figured I would need about 20 sets (although it multiplied later), so I wanted about 50 to 60 large, weird drawings.  I drew a few drawings a week for several months.  My wife and I would go to the local thrift stores and buy props.  I bought rolls of color paper from a school supply store.  My parents obtained many large cardboard boxes from a furniture store.

I continued to audition at our house. 

I also began to do research on the equipment I would need to purchase.  Renting was out of the question since, by now, I knew the shooting would go on for about a year.

I bought several magazines, like MOVIEMAKER, FILM MAKER, INDEPENDENT FILM/VIDEO, DV, VIDEOMAKER, VIDEOGRAPHY, and others.  I spent many weeks on the Internet.  I talked to many people.

 

They Drop Like Flies

 

I had contacted many old friends and acquaintances soon after completing the script for WORMWOOD.  At first they all seemed very excited.  Most of them said they would like to help.  As the months went by, one by one, they dropped out.  They were too busy or I simply couldn’t get a hold of them anymore.  A few of them even changed their phone numbers.  I did find a few people to be my crew.  They were not film people.  I knew them from ACCESS TUCSON, the local public access TV station.  Every month I teach a class there and two of the guys had taken my class a few years back.  Two of my ex-U of A students would also help once in a while.

 

 

 

Starting to Spend The Money

 

I decided to buy the Canon XL1.  However, I hated its lens, so I bought a manual zoom lens (in other words, a REAL lens) for it.

 

 

 

Within a few days of buying the camera I bought a Bogen tripod.  It is their largest, too large for my camera, but I wanted a big enough tripod to support a 16mm camera if I decided to shoot in 16mm later.

I purchased a $600 shotgun microphone and a boom pole and an audio mixer.

 

Then came the lights.  Lights are very expensive.  I wound up buying 4 Lowel DP lights and 2 Lowel little Pro lights.  I also got two white boxes from Photoflex. 

We also got a small camera light and battery belt.  The light would become known as ‘the Lourdes light,’ because we used it only on Lourdes.  Since she is darker skinned than other cast members, often I would have to have the little light on her to brighten her up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I spent many hours on the internet and roaming the local Borders and Barnes & Noble magazine racks. I continually read recent books and magazines. I read DV Magazine and Videography and Moviemaker and Filmmaker and The Independent Film & Video Monthly, and I looked everywhere to decide what equipment to buy and where to go to get a good deal. I never bought anything lightly. Every penny was important and we had to be very careful what we bought. Most everything we purchased was off the internet or bought from New York.

 

 

If you are interested in information on equipment we used, checkout the LINKS section.

 

 

Unit Production Managers Are Soooo Important

 

With most of the artwork done and having bought most of the equipment, I then began to do the Unit Production Manager work.  I marked the entire screenplay, completed the Production Board, and began scheduling the shoot.

 

Let me digress for a moment.

About a year earlier I received a call from a Producer’s Representative.  She needed a Unit Production Manager for a film to be shot in Tucson.  She asked if I had done it before.  I said no.  She asked if I knew Movie Magic Scheduling and Budgeting software used extensively in the industry.  I said no, but I could learn it in a hurry.  She was worried.  I told her I could do it.  She wasn’t convinced.  I didn’t get the job.  I wasn’t heartbroken.  I knew what Unit Production Managers did.  I knew it was bullshit.

 

The biggest secret in Hollywood is that most jobs there are extremely simple.  Any moron can do it (as long as you play the game and kiss plenty of ass).  But, being insecure mongoloids, they have to believe their jobs are ohhhhh so important and ooooooh so difficult.  They totally believe their own bullshit.   And if you dare suggest that any idiot can do their job, they will vehemently deny it.      

And the public buys the bullshit hook, line and sinker.  When I tell people ignorant to the ways of Hollywood that Hollywood is filled with complete idiots and morons, they don’t believe me.  They look at Hollywood as a place filled with incredibly talented people.  It is a pathetic joke.

 

Anyway, I bought three books on Scheduling and Budgeting and I did the job for our film rather quickly (without Movie Magic), and I laughed a lot as I did it.  I would make some marks and write on little strips and I would go, “oooooh, this is sooooo hard.   Oooooooh I don’t think I can do this!  Ooooh, please, someone from Hollywood please come out here to lil ‘ol Tucson and help this poor lil guy!!”

 

Please, somebody, fuck Hollywood.